A New Friend

So after get back from break, my friend hands me THIS.


His name is Mr. T. Sweet Cheeks.
He's a bit of a slut.

You know why?
If you punch him in the mouth...HE FLUSHES WITH PLEASURE.



OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. TENDER SWEET CHEEKS IS THE BIGGEST SLUT.

He's a friend of Ridley's. We guess. We are unsure as of yet exactly how well they get along.
The best part is definitely handing people this cupcake and then instructing them to PUNCH HIM IN THE MOUTH.

Anyway, this is weird stuffed animal with a personality number 2 for me. I think I might need a collection. An army of bizarre, eccentric stuffed animals. Led by Ridley. Oh yes.

emotions

Oh jeez oh jeez.

(hysterical laughter)


Apparently some folks take me seriously when I anthropomorphize Ridley.

I think it's very funny, but Ridley is extremely offended that anyone would think I'm joking.

Encounters

Sometimes, people say great things about Ridley. I haven't updated in a while, but people have said some fantastic things about Ridley. As they are a bit removed in time by now, some of this will be paraphrased, but rest assured that things went down pretty similarly to my memory.

Encounter 1: Ben


Part 1, CLOUDS
Ben hugs Ridley. "What...what material is this??" He asks, clearly shocked by Ridley's extreme squishiness.
"Isn't it just cotton?" someone asks.
"IMPOSSIBLE. This could not be mere cotton!" He replies, aghast. "This is cloud! Ridley is made OF CLOUDS!"

Part 2, MAGIC
Alicia looked up other squishables online, and was flipping out about how cute the shark is. I'll say he's adorable. She was, however, also insisting that Ridley was NOT AS CUTE. I was about to spring to his defense when Ben said this: "What? But Ridley is adorable. He's also MAGICAL, and therefore better."

Wow. Someone here really gets it!


Encounter 2: Tripping


Part 1, PURE
I'm in college. Sometimes people I know do crazy things. Sometimes people I know do drugs. Well, some people I knew were tripping the other day. They thought Ridley was really awesome and were hanging out with him.
Tripper 1: "Look...look at his mouth. I wouldn't want him to bite me. I wouldn't want to make out with him!"
Tripper 2: "You can't make out with Ridley! Ridley is a PURE BEING!!"

Whatever that means? I think it is a compliment.

Part 2, ROOTBEER

So said trippers decided that rearranging the common room in the middle of the night was a great idea (and honestly, it was. it was a great thing to wake up to.)

They flipped over all the furniture, put a blanket over the fort, hung my two rubber snakes (Louie and Bowie) from the ceiling, and put crazy signs everywhere (such as "THE SNAKES ARE LOOSE")

They also put a quote on the quote wall: This is MY house! --Ridley
(I approve)

anyway, they also set up a kind of shrine to Ridley. This involved the one non-flipped piece of furniture, the couch. It was covered in empty boxes and in the center was Ridley, perched atop an empty 12-pack rootbeer box, with the sign "ROOTBEER BONER?!?"

I don't even know what the think of this.



This is a reenactment of the event along with Alicia of Actually, Alicia making what is apparently a "Ridley Rootbeer Boner" face.

MiniRidley

Recently a couple friends of mine (Trekkie Maya and MLIA Sheena) suggested how cool it would be if I had a Mini-Ridley. Well, today at the free store I found some modeling clay, and several balls of clay and some triangles of paper later, we had MiniRidley!
Check him out.
He is the shit.
There is a fork for reference.

hugs

when I am stressed I must remember to give my lovely Ridley more hugs.
I am hugging him extra tight just for all of you.

PS He is not suffocating. He likes bear hugs. He absorbs energy from them and turns it into mass. This is why he is so rotund.

PPS I guess he is sort of a lucky charm, despite the fact that was a mistranslation by our Frenchman Mr. Maury. A lucky charm OF LOVE AND HUGS.

effing hipster is prepared for British Columbia

so Ukulele Jake broke his glasses and walked into our dorm wearing ridiculousness today. The ridiculousness being his old glasses. I put them on Ridley. We decided Ridley needed some flannel and one of those goofy scarfs. Meaning that Alicia Cookies decided this. And so here is the Bigman, so much more than ready for Manfire to come and take him to British Columbia.
((ps, i thought everyone should have crazy names like Ukulele Jake. Not just him deserves this weirdness.))

latfh

Val, 12:00 AM: I want you to know i can't bring myself to delete the text in which you used the world 'brouhaha'.
Keith, 12:01 AM: Isn't it such a great word? Makes you think of a bunch of burly men with ridiculous mustaches squaring off against each other. Or maybe that's just me.
Val, 12:05 AM: I think of a bunch of burly men laughing and chest bumping. They are wearing plaid shirts.
Keith, 12:06 AM: Yep, i concur. Are they lumberjacks or hipsters though? Hipster lumberjacks? Do they plant trees to be ironic?
Val, 12:09 AM: Hahaha, Probalistically.
Keith, 12:12 AM: Hipster lumberjacks pour pabst blue ribbon over their flapjacks instead of maple syrup. They use vintage axes. They stand around the forest looking bored.

The conversation progresses until Keith says, "Tell Ridley we make for British Columbia come dawn. And to wear plaid." Also, I need to find a hill to gaze north from.

Ridley is prepared. (see: picture)

Kitty Kat thinks he ought to have a pipe and be a lumberjack-sherlock cross. With the new movie, I wouldn't put it past a hipster.

oh jeez

oh jeez how does this work i do not understand i want to see the blogs of the people following me but i can't figure out how help help jeez

Meet Ridley. You can meet Val, too, I guess.

Hi. This is my blog. I'm Valerie. I'm in college. Ridley is my dinosaur. He is the best ever.

This blog will probably be funny a lot of the time, but not all of the time. I can be emo too sometimes. So can Ridley, but he looks bad in black.

Here is Ridley in a parka. He looks very classy as he is a classy fellow.